Long time no woof

Oops. I kept thinking I should update and then I kept forgetting. Well, Nico has grown and is progressing with various milestones like big boy haircuts and not getting insanely excited when he meets new people. Just...mostly excited when he meets new people. As he gets bigger he can walk more and that is fun. He still has his limits as he has short legs and he will never be a 5 mile a day lab but still, it is fun. Having him is getting me to investigate all the nature that is on my door step that I never thought of before. There is an old quarry that has been dug out and turned into a heritage trail that runs down to the river and I love it there. Within minutes it feels like you're miles from the town and everything is green and lovely. Dogs run around off their leads and have fun, sniffing out rabbit holes and getting fascinated by wild rabbits darting to and fro.

I feel safe there, relaxed, and that is a big deal for me given my anxiety and how every time I leave my house it is a small victory. Nico's first walk around the top part of the trail left him knackered but every time we go back he manages to toddle a little further and having him down by the river is amazing. By that point you can't hear the cars at all and everything is so peaceful. We've had a big adventure there by losing the lead. Or shall I say, I let go and he waddles along investigating and checking I'm still there. I feared he would run off and I'd be chasing him down but he rewarded my trust and stayed close by. Given how much he's struggling to pick up recall that was a big moment for us. It is such a rush to feel like I've taught him something, that I'm developing this little pup into an adult and sometimes it feels like I've had him for five minutes and other times like forever.

I'm a lot more confident when we bump into other dogs now. I'm not scared and I don't fear being judged by others because I know Nico is well behaved and that I am doing the best that I can for him. I can now tell people I want them to call their dogs off and don't fear the consequences because I do it for Nico, because of Nico, and their opinion isn't really important to me any more. That is a big mental shift. We're at the point where Nico is ready to take on the sponsored walk for DiabetesUK with me next month and I'm very excited for that! Taking him on a sponsored walk is on my bucket list if you like~

'They' are talking again

Owning Nico has given me another rude reminder that people always like to think that they know better, even when their opinion is neither wanted nor asked for. Everyone thinks they know how to raise my dog and more importantly that they have the right to tell me this. They don’t. The fact is, Nico is my puppy and it isn’t like I’m going into this blind. I have been around dogs before with family and I’ve done my research. I’ve talked to behaviorists  vets plus I’ve read books and blogs and papers on the matter. I’m probably in the minority given I’ve done that much. I don’t pluck my facts from thin air when I defend my choices with Nico but the fact is I shouldn’t have to.

I think many people believe that they have learned about one breed of dog and therefore know about them all but a Pug is very different from a Labrador and a Poodle a very different kettle of fish than a Dalmatian. Different dogs have different needs and capabilities and all my readings and experience with dogs have taught me that I need to respect that. I’m not an expert on my dog and I’m certainly not an expert on yours but I’m not trying to be. I’m trying to learn and do the best for my pup. I’m learning about his breed. I’m trying to find his limits. To me, you can’t even compare Nico to adults of the same breed because Nico is not an adult, he is a child. His bones have yet to set and he is still learning about the world around him. He isn’t even in his ‘teenage’ years by dog standards. No, he won’t be walking the same miles every day that an older dog of the same breed might enjoy and he certainly won’t need, or want, the exercise regime of a working dog. He is a little dog, with little feet, that has his own needs and I aim to meet them and not the expectations of others.

So what is important? Loving him. That is what I really think. 

Trying to Help Out

This morning started like any other for Nico and I. I had my pastries and he had his sausages and I was halfway through my cup of tea when I heard that a dog had been hit by a car at our local Leisure Center and ran off towards the canal, near my home. At first I was going to sit and keep an eye out as my house looks onto one of the routes down from the canal but then I thought about it more.  It made me think of how I would feel if Nico was hurt and no one came to help look for him. A moment later I was a flurry of activity shouting for my mum to get Nico on his lead while I fell about looking for clothes and suitable footwear. A few minutes later I was out the door armed with treats for Nico and the number of an emergency vet.

Nico and I were out there for a good hour and a half searching through the wooded areas around the centre and canal but unfortunately had no luck in finding the injured dog. It was pretty disgusting work as being near the canal the ground is always wetter anyway and we’ve had a lot of rain recently so it was like sludge most of the time. Plus it was cold and generally rather bleak while trying to squirm through dead trees on the search. Nico was brilliant about following me through even though he got very muddy and probably had cold feet considering how deep the sludge was in comparison to his wee feet. He did not complain or try to stop once though and was always sniffing. Of course, he didn’t know what he was sniffing for but it made me feel better.  We got into a right mess but I’m glad that we did it all.

I wasn’t sure whether to take Nico at first, and had to weigh up the options.  On the one hand, he might scare the other dog or the site of him might cause the dog to panic and become aggressive but on the other he might be able to find the dog easier than I could alone. Obviously, I did take him but it was always on my mind that it might not have been the right choice until I bumped into others looking who had their dogs too. Nico behaved perfectly like he has been trained to and made some new friends on the search. It felt nice to be part of the dog community if you like, trying to help find another part of it. I’m glad that I did my bit and it was nice to think that if it was Nico these people would be out looking for him too.

For someone with social anxiety like me, it isn’t easy to do something like that. It was terrifying just getting up and heading out to help like that but I’m very proud of myself for doing it. Without Nico I would never have been out in that area of town by myself, never have met those people or spoken to them, and wouldn’t have felt the sense of community that I did today. Every person that I don’t know and talk to is part of my recovery process.

On our return to the house, Nico was muddy up to his knees and in dire need of a bath and I was utterly exhausted. Tea and bones were handed out and we had a hard earned rest but I do feel a sense of achievement and pride for what we have done today.  I hope the dog is found and that his injures are not too severe so it can recover and return home to its family.

Sam and Nico

Happy New Year

Nico, post bath

2012 was a rather terrible year for me. I faced challenges I would never wish upon anyone and was so ill I wondered how I could ever possibly get better. The thing about being put in a corner, back against the wall, is that it makes you really re-evaluate things. I had time to think, so much time, because I couldn’t do anything else. I couldn’t go to university or work or read my beloved books, even watch a TV show without losing concentration and getting a sore head. It all took too much of something I didn’t have anymore, so I did a lot of thinking.

I thought about the places I’ve been, the people I know and the goals I had in my life and wondered who and what was really worth it.  I decided to take a chance and do something I have felt ready to do for years but never had the guts to and give a home to a dog. The decision has changed my life beyond my wildest imagination and while it has been very rewarding it has also been difficult and challenging. They tell you of the cuddles and amusing antics of puppies and many keep quiet about cleaning up poop on the carpet and trying to prevent them escaping the bath. It isn't easy, and though I'm loving having my puppy I hope that the Christmas puppies this year keep their homes. They really are for life. They become part of your life and can be one of the best parts of it if you are willing to let them. There is nothing like the feeling I get when I come home to his happy face and wagging tail. 

Nico has been amazing for my mental health this year and was without doubt the best decision I made in 2012. Bringing in the New Year with him by my side was wonderful and I look forward to many more to come.

Happy New Year

Sam and Nico

xx

Nico's First Haircut

before the cut, and hardly able to see.

Growing up, I have been around a decent number of babies. I myself have three brothers that are a lot younger than me and remember their toothless drooling stages well. Parents often get emotional over their child’s first haircut with some even keeping a lock of the baby’s hair and growing up I found it to be utterly ridiculous. People would talk of what a big moment it was in the child’s life and how something was different afterwards and I scoffed inside because the baby would still drool and try to shove a crayon in its mouth when it got home. It is just a haircut right? People get them all the time and it is not like the child is only ever going to get one so in my eyes there was nothing to get worked up or fussed about.

Then Nico needed clipped.

Suddenly I got it parents of the world, I just got it.

I booked him for his first grooming session when he was 18 weeks old and found myself getting steadily more nervous about the whole thing. Part of it I put down to my General Anxiety Disorder and the way everything gets me wound up but there was something more to it, something that just felt like it would have been there regardless.  There were the normal things to get anxious about, of course, like how would he be in the groomer’s bath considering his escape attempts at home and would he sit still long enough to get clipped?  I knew the woman would know what she was doing but still I worried he was going to move at the wrong moment and get a chunk taken out of him. Nico is just as unpredictable as a human child in that way.

Then, there was the fact that he would look different. He would be moving on to another stage in his floppy eared life and not be a right baby any more. He gets more independent and bigger every day and while it is amazing to see, there is also a feeling of loss in there too. I gain a wonderful personality a little more each day but at the same time his ‘puppyhood’ gets chipped away. This was going to be a rather large chip I slowly realised.  I’m still pretty sure that the sharpness of his claws and the fact that he was half blinded by his own coat was what made me stick to my guns.

When he was younger I was all for letting Nico’s coat grow out so he would look like the stereotypical Lhasa Apso dog you see on the front cover of books, but I decided against that as soon as he was getting outside. Nico is fond of rolling around in grass, and brushing him after that with a short coat was hard enough work as it was. Then came the fact that he would get his claws stuck in his coat very easily despite the brush going through his coat with no problem at all. Apart from the fact that it is easier on me if his coat is at a shorter length, Nico seemed to be getting genuinely irritated with his coat as it grew longer and since his clipping has seemed more content. He can see, which is a bonus.  The getting his foot stuck to his own head two minutes after a brush did play a part in my decision though. It is very easy for people to say ‘if his coat was brushed properly that wouldn’t happen’ but he is a puppy. He likes to roll around like a fool as I said and that doesn’t bode well for his perfectly brushed locks.

His nails needed clipped and I confess getting the groomer to do that is because of a lack of confidence on my part. I have the clippers required but when I try I just can’t tell if I am hurting him or not and while I can afford to get his nails done with his trim I don’t want to risk it. We walked along and it started raining halfway along but hey, he was getting a bath so I didn’t feel too bad about presenting a drip to the woman. He was a happy drip.

I was able to see everything that would be used and proceedings were explained before the choice came as to whether to stay with the wee man or leave. Nico was perfectly content to wander around the room sniffing things and didn’t seem all that aware of my presence now he had new things to explore. He had the previous week gotten a hold of my glasses and chewed them, putting some scratches on the lenses. (We had words about who they belong to after that and since they have been safe) I decided to leave Nico in capable hands and see about getting some new windows as it were. If he was going to squeal the whole time, I wasn’t sure I could handle hearing it and I admit I took the cowardly route out and toddled off down the road. However, I was assured this was a good thing and must once again bring in the dog to toddler comparison. If was there, Nico might have tried to get back to me at the waiting area and been constantly aware of what I was doing or how I felt about things and he would probably be nervous enough about the giant buzzing clippers coming towards him without me feeling just as, if not more, scared in the corner. So off I went.

right after. totally different dog!

I returned to find an adorable puppy sitting on the woman’s lap at the computer some hour and 15 minutes later and did a double take. He looked nothing like the dog I had deposited there just over an hour before! As you can see from the pictures, he is far lighter now. I adore being able to see his eyes and it was a rather emotional moment to see him hop down and come running all bright eyed. He just felt so soft and I guess I felt a deep sense of relief that no meteor had hit earth because of my choice or something. I was assured the groomer would do what Nico allowed her to and not force him and cause him distress and gave herself 2 hours to work, thinking she wouldn’t need it. She was right and Nico was a star that behaved perfectly. I must add, it was wonderful to get his bum hair cut. People don’t like talking about it but little dogs with big coats can get poop stuck to their bums and cleaning that up is about as much fun as changing a nappy.

I just kept looking at him for most of the remainder of the day. As a reward for good behaviour I got him a bone and that meant he just sat at my feet for most of the afternoon while I fawned and stared. They don’t warn you about going all soft at your pup’s first haircut that is for sure. It was a very emotional experience in many ways and yes I admit to being sappy over it all. He’s just so damn cute though, I can’t help it!

Sam and Nico

Book Review

Slight deviation from normal business! I read this book recently to try to help train Nico. I then reviewed it on my book review blog and thought it relevant to this blog as well. I think it would be an understatement to say that I was far from impressed and generally felt uneasy by the end of it.

available to read here

Walkies! Or...not.

If Nico were a small human child, he would be the one running around naked and screaming to avoid going in the bath, which you subsequently can’t get back out of the bath fifteen minutes later. Of that, I have no doubts. Baths <i>are</i> interesting with Nico and I will touch upon that in another blog but the point of this blog is something that should really be a lot simpler. Walking. I guess I took it for granted that the minute Nico was allowed outside he would automatically know how to walk and off we would go. Um, no. The first time that Nico and I ventured outside into the scary world with leash on and paws ready he….sat on the ground and looked at me. There was no bounding off into the large garden that we’re privileged to have, no tail wagging, and certainly no tugging to get going. No, Nico just sat.

I took him onto the grass and he had a sniff but still had no great urge to wander. It put it down to his age and figured he would get better as he grew up. Well, he is fifteen weeks now and still isn’t huge on walking. Lhasas are not water dogs and Nico is no exception to that particular rule. The site of a raindrop has him trying desperately to get home. He has a lovely coat and doesn’t want it getting out of shape, thank you very much~ Suddenly the name Nico seems to fit him so well, as many F1 addicts will I’m sure agree. (With a chuckle of course) Now, well this is where the bath references start to come into play. It is hard to get Nico going. Lhasas are not big walkers anyway but still, I think it is good for him to get a couple of little walks in a day. He has others ideas and would rather potter around the garden with an empty yogurt pot hanging out his mouth.

Often he just sits and whines and refuses to move. So I stand patiently, don’t look at him, don’t talk to him and so he trots along for a whole three steps and then he stops and he whines and he refuses to move and rinse and repeat. He just doesn’t get it. It can take us fifteen minutes to talk the length of my street some days.  However, when I do get him going he sure goes. He’s either a lazy sod or a champ when it comes to walking.  When he is willing he trots along nicely, investigating leaves (which move in the wind omg his little mind was blown!) and getting to know the neighbours.  Being the type of dog that he is, his legs are really too short for his body so he more runs than walks even though I dawdle myself to let him keep up. His breeding shows when he is wary of strangers and other dogs but willing to say hello once he is sure.  He really is brilliant when he’s happily walking. He loves the canal when I can get him there and walking right smack through the middle of the deepest muddiest puddles he can find.  (Isn’t so fond of the brushing required afterwards but it is good to learn!)  I think it shows that if I can win this battle of wills over who is leading the walks and deciding where we are going and how long for that we are going to have a great time out and about together XD

Another strange trick to get Nico to walk though is to take...the cat. For some reason, Nico is quite happy to follow Morgan around the block and up and down the street. He doesn't chase her but just toddles along quite happily beside her. I have photographic proof. It makes me look like some sort of Doctor Doolittle. They both seem happy enough with the arrangement but I never thought I'd be wondering if the cat wanted to come a walk to get the dog going that is for sure!

Though, on the note of dogs and strangers. Lhasa Apsos are weary of strangers because their original purpose was to be guard dogs for Tibetan Monks. I’m really quite sick of people touching Nico without him consenting. And yes, he can consent. His body language makes it obvious about whether he wants to be touched or not. If he is moving towards you with his tail wagging than he’s ok to be touched. If he’s stood at my feet watching you silently, he is still sizing you up. Leave him alone!  A small boy was walking by and very suddenly reached out and patted Nico on the head today. My wee man jumped and startled before running between my legs. The mother waved it off and said ‘I knew he would do that’. Well, do something about that. If Nico had reacted by biting the boy I doubt it would have caused her the same giggle she had today. Nico only has baby teeth so I doubt he could do much damage at the moment but he will get bigger. If the dog feels threatened, it won’t be my fault if he defends himself. It is another matter if he’s pulling on the leash and snarling but the situation today? The blame would be with the child and ultimately the mother who hasn’t taught the child any better. I would never have been allowed to reach out and touch a dog without permission when I was young. That probably has something to do with why I’ve never been bitten hmm?

Sam and Nico

xx